081211

It's been hell of a week of examination. :\

Anyway, I found this Challenge online and feel like doing it when my exams are over!!

As you know that I'm a nail polish addict by now~ So I'm gonna follow this challenge once I've gotten my tools! HEHEHE.

2011 has been hell, can't wait for 2012.

151011

Many things happened recently. Bad things to be exact. Wasn't in the right mood to do anything.

It's saddening, to see people leaving your life. I'm selfish, for wanting others to adapt into my life and taking it for granted.

For bombing people with umpteen times of my worse points in life, expect them to hear it without complains, I'm truly a selfish whore.

At the age of 21, I've tasted quite number of situations where life wasn't easy. People came and people left. What's left are memories and disappointment that can't be recreate or be able to taste it again.

October, a month of revelation, where I've broke my record of crying for 4 nights in a row due to different issues.

Life is fucked up. Misunderstandings are bound to happen. So now, either it is a brand new beginning, or yet another fucked up ending.

Those who meant to be back, will be back. I ain't forcing no one. It's your decision.

I'll update this space with exciting posts soon.

Life at it is

Sometimes I really wonder, do our life's fate & destiny fixed in such way.

Especially mine.

Been wanting to rely on someone for so long. Time passes, many ideal candidates came and gone.

I'm sick and tired of being played already.

The first time when I had enough courage to confess to someone, he lied saying that he wished to be single. And yet, 5 days later he went back to his ex.

The second time when I really forgotten the first, and brave enough to pursuit my 'happiness', he lied saying that he is single where he actually been attached for long.

The third time, where I stopped finding guys and this dude came along. End up, he was on the verge of breaking up with his gf and used me as a sparetyre. In the end, gave me an excuse saying that I'm very much like his gf, and he went off with another young lady.

The fourth time, where I've thought that this would be the one, he came and I fell in love too. Thought that everything went on smoothly and who knows that he is has a baggage with him. Told me that he can't forget his 1st and he too, left me behind.

Here and there came along guys that said they liked me. In the end? One by one starts to leave me, lied to me, used me.

I'm seriously tired of being used, being cheated.

You might be thinking that hey, at least you still kept your first love empty.

But seriously, what's the use of being a relationship virgin at this age? Would guys really cherish it? No.

You might ask too, why do I need a man... Yes, I can survive very well on my own. Been doing that since the day I met with this harsh society.

But somehow, I just need reliance. I need to feel wanted.

Time after time, I've been picked up and to be known that I'll be smashed against the wall of reality. It's tiring.

That is why now, I'm sincerely afraid of entrusting my feelings to anyone. I believe he, the one who wants it, worth it would try any means to get me.

Just that the wait is too long. fuck this shit.

horrible august

This august was quite a horrible one.

I've decided to come out of the quicksand myself. Stay afloat and all.

However, yet, I've stepped into another one too quickly.

Totally asking for it.

I blame myself for that. I trust my intuition. This won't be the one either.

I gave too much. Silly me, to think that it would keep a guy's heart.

A guy is still a guy. No matter what, they have the controlling decision.

fuck my life.

130811

2 months back, I had my share of hope & fun.

I thought, I pondered before, it is not as if I didn't have my guards on.

But still, shit still chose to stick on me. I can't escape from it.

2006, 2008 and now 2011.

How many more 'lessons' shall I learnt before I really deserve some reciprocated love?

I don't want to be a replacement, an escapade, or another burden or baggage in someone else's life. I had enough of all those dramas.

This is my last straw of hope. If things aren't changing, I'm gonna fuck care it.

To you,

You can always said that you are tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. You have your rights, yes. But you are the one who dragged me down into this shithole. I'm a woman, I need to be doted as well. If feelings fade, or you've regretted or so, just fucking get straight to the point and tell me.

I'm tired, seriously, 2 months is enough to torture, because it is almost every minute I'll be thinking about you, revolving my world around you. I need to find myself back.

xoxo,

Your Silly Girl.

A hello.

A whatapp message.

A phone call.

An initiative date.

A pair of wedges.

A smile.

A grab-hug in a bookstore.

A kiss in the cinema.

Two bottles of coke.

A piece of fried chicken cutlet.

A hug upon seeing.

Two bottles of Lemon Barley Drink.

Two pairs of 3D glasses.

A long sheltered walkway.

An overhead bridge.

A night meet up.

A pair of held-hands.

An owl ring.

A paragraph of memories.