fast

Very fast, a year has passed.

We've all grown up and such.
There will soon be another year, and another another year. What would we become? I'm not sure.
3 years ago, there was one, I thought that I couldn't see it come.

But *laughs* who knows, fated played a trick on me, stuck a U-turn sign in the midst, signalling me to turn back and look.

I saw him, I don't dare to proceed. For my little heart couldn't take anymore blows.

Rejections, Betrayal, Hurt, Unloved, Unappreciated, Used, Devotion, Determination and Time.

I gave and received it all.

Who will be my prince to protect me?
If I were to let you see my heart. It doesn't look like a heart anymore.

Miranda says, it is hard for her, not to like anyone for a period of time.
But the period of time has come. She don't know who to like anymore.

There is no motivation in her life.
She looks around, everyone is in pair, even at home. Dad & Mum, Sis and BF, Cousin and BF. She's in school, Lipps with her BerdBerd, Liwen with her Ice Cream, even people that are close with her are in their cliques.

She is therefore left alone again.
Left alone to dealt with all the problems she has to face.

Stress from FYP. Stress from school. Stress from everyone.

She needs a shoulder to rely on. But everyone thinks that she is strong enough to support by herself.
Even the strongest pillar will get eroded one day. Another stronger pillar will replace.

Im just tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of giving.

People asked me to stop finding. But did they know once I stop, meaning everything will stop too?

No one gave me a chance to prove myself. No one gives me a chance to love them.
Once they felt that I like them, they AVOID, they IGNORE, they FEEL DISGUSTED and shuns away.

When I was 78kg, guys ran away, even the best friend whom I loved ran away.
Now, I'm 58kg. People ran awayy because I love them, people love me as a friend and wants to remain that way. Just that im too friendly? Or you people just love AVOIDANCE?

Epic epic fail. I had enough of being ignored.

Yes, Im afraid to fall in love now. Are you guys happy now?
No more Miranda to avoid. Because she won't LOVE anyone now. She is scared. She is hiding herself. No one loves her anyway so for what fuck she cares so much?

If you guys keep saying how good i am, than please explain why the fuck am i still being left on the shelves? Why NO NORMAL GUYS asked for my number before? Why? WHY?

Yes, im desperate for a guy who love me now.
Friends' love over dose. Family love overdose.

I need what I lack now.


If loving you cause you much misery. Than I don't love you.

If only my presence in your life cause you much misery and hatred, than please forget me.

If only I wasn't even born to this world. I'll guess my mum and sis won't cry when they found out that I wasn't a BOY.

Fuck lah.chee bye.