My youth

Just watched a movie, Our Times, yesterday with the Boyfriend at JEM.
Cried like shit.

Oh well, it really brings back tons of memories in secondary school though.
Where your worries are just homework/results, CCA results, and of course, BGR.

Back in 2004, I fell in love with the most handsome and notorious boy in my level. Most of the girls had a crush on him. Basketball team, center part hair, love to disturb girls, had the most advance handphone and smuggle it to school.
I am lucky, to have the privilege to be closer to him at a point of time. Him coming my house where there's no one, helped to do something on my phone, played my hamsters, and little moments at 630am in the morning where he would wait for me to go to school together.
Of course such times doesn't last as his attention span is pretty limited. Soon after, he had his own gang of boys and of course his eye candy, another pretty girl in our level.
Slowly, I was out of his life, because I'm just a fat girl who is in the school band.

Fast forward to 2005, I landed at the last class of the level. So naturally, all the suckers will be in the same class. All 26 of us, where other classes had about 40 students.

When I was primary 6, I used to like a boy, sadly, we had to go our separate ways when we are posted to different secondary school. Shockingly, I saw a little boy during my Secondary 1 orientation, a boy who looked similar to my crush!
But alas, he is not him. Just someone similar.

I went to the same secondary 3 class as this boy in 2005. We first chatted on msn because we wanted to send each other the latest chinese hits. This only happened after I hated him in class. Not sure why though.

Soon we were in a clique, together with others. We even have nicknames for each other.
Naturally, with puberty, I fell in love with him.
And we were promoted to the same class in Secondary 4.
As times go by, he had many girlfriends too, but I'm just transparent, a girl best friend next to him.

The one who will do his homework, reminded him about tests/exams, helped him to bring extra stuff for art lessons. Come to think of it, my unconditional love for him was pretty silly.
Just a phone call away, I'm always there. Be it bowling, Singing K, playing pool, or even hanging out at nearest coffee shop. I'm always there for him. But he didn't know I liked him, as I told him I liked the Mr. Popular.

And then, it happened. I chose to confess to him. A Thursday in August 2006, a few weeks before O levels, I chose to go to his house, under his block, sat with him, and confessed.
I cried, a lot. Because I was afraid.
But I did it.
It is pretty funny how he ended up hating me because he felt cheated that he is the last one to know.
LOL. of course lah!
But then again, I hated him because he told me he wanted to be single, but in the end, he went back to his ex 5 days later after I confessed.

Throughout the years, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, he came in and out of my life when he was out of love. I accepted him graciously, being an old friend and him being my old flame, I still do have soft spot for him.
Here and there, I do fell in love with other guys, but him, just him, being special in my heart.

In 2013, I met the my boyfriend. My first boyfriend.
I discussed with him yesterday, "Do you count yourself as my first love?"
"Probably him bah", he replied.
"I'll guess so, he is my youth." I answered.

Many of you would probably think, why I can't let go. Anyway it has been like 9 years.
Well, many times you can't forget your first time.
First kiss, first time you ate mcdonalds, first visit to the zoo, your first handphone, first day of school, etc.

To me, he is the first guy I confessed to. At the age of 16, I believe I'm old enough to be conscious that I'm in love.
And that point of time, it was my first heartbreak too.

Therefore, the movie Our Times, tugged at the right heartstrings of my youth. And knowing that in some parts of the world, there are girls like me, who will do silly things for the guys they love.

I'm now happily attached to my Mr J. It has been a whirlwind of 2 years, but I'm glad he is in my life right now.
Coincidentally, the guy in my youth is another Mr J. as well.
And he will definitely be in a special place in my mind (not heart), always, as a part of a special memory, till the end of time.